Today my grandma passed away. She had been sick for quite some time so, in a way, I was relieved God called her home. On Friday, my mom, sister and I went to the nursing home to spend some time with her. We had been told that she didn't have much time left. My mother and her mother often had a strained and complicated relationship. All of this has made me think a lot lately about what it means to be a mother. Since having Noah, I have such a greater appreciation for my mom. I have only been a mommy for a little over three months, but there is something so powerful about a mother's love. I have never experienced any feeling like it in my life. Words truly can't express how much I love my little guy. When he smiles, I feel like my heart could explode. I have no doubt my mother feels the same way about me even though I am an adult.
My mom refuses to drive on the highway or learn anything about technology (she still can't figure out how to work the remote control to the TV). She has fallen asleep while talking to me on the phone more than once and didn't figure out I was lactose intolerant until I was in the first grade....(yes, that means no one wanted to sit by me in the first grade). Despite all of this....I wouldn't trade her for any other. My mommy is compassionate, giving, selfless, courageous, complicated, crazy, funny, beautiful, wise, and kind. She has taught me what it means to be family, how to forgive, how NOT to drive, how to love unconditionally, and maybe most importantly that I can do anything I set my mind to. She centered her world around her children. She made being Mommy her identity. She has always been there for me, even when I didn't deserve it. She is a great mother and a fabulous grandmother. Noah and I are lucky to have her. There is a pretty good chance she wont see this since she refuses to learn how to "work" the computer. But just in case my little sister or Dad shows her......Mommy, thank you for everything, but especially for teaching me what it means to be mommy. I love you!
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